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Two years ago I obtained a court order allowing me contact with my little son. Given his young age at the time, I agreed that his mother should also be present during the contact.

I recently asked his Mother if I can take him out for 2 or 3 hours on my own during each visit, but unfortunately she declined.

Over the last two years, there have been several occasions when I have been with him on my own unsupervised. These were with his Mother's full knowledge and often at her suggestion. Therefore this has surely set a Precedent? And is it not entirely reasonable for me to request time alone with him during our contact?

His mother says she worries about the Child's safety, although she has no grounds to suggest that I cannot provide excellent care for him. I think she is just being overly protective.

If this ends up in Court, given the above information I've provided, would my request just be a formality, or would Cafcass need to interview me and write a report? Please remember, I am not asking for overnight stays, just 2-3 hours during the day.

Does Cafcass only get involved at the Court's request, or can I approach them and ask for a report to be written as evidence on my behalf?


Many thanks for your advice

CAFCASS will only get involved at the courts request.

I hope the court, at the first directions hearing would put some pressure on the mother to spell out exactly why she objects to contact - she may then realise that her position is untenable.

The Mother now says she doesn't want me to have unsupervised contact because she believes I have a 'dependency on alcohol'.

This is wholly untrue, and in any case why then has she regularly allowed me to drive her and my Son around London in my car? That would be negligence on her part!

I also have video recordings of the time I've spent unsupervised with the child, so hopefully that's all the evidence I'll need.

It is an odd situation that contact, "supervised" by the child's mother has been in place for the past two years.

Most people would be uneasy about being forced into the company of their ex, just so that contact with a child could take place. One wonders whether the mother finds it difficult to come to terms with the fact of the relationship with you having ended?

Basically it is unsatisfactory. The "supervised" contact should only ever have been temporary.

Being "dependent on alcohol" is an easy buzz-phrase to use against you. It is a phrase that has different meanings in different contexts. On a different thread on these forums I suggested that we are all criminals; and indeed I think by the same sort of control foisted on us by modern day thought encouraged by government a very great proportion of the adult population are "alcohol dependent". If you drink at all it is almost impossible for you to give a response that she will not seize on to her advantage if you are not careful.

I suggest the following: Firstly, (and please appreciate I do not know your situation) turning up drunk, or even smelling of drink, for contact (if this is what happens) does not help your case. Secondly, if you do not do this get her to spell out exactly why it is that she says you are "dependent on alcohol"?

Not a million miles from the situation I am experiencing.

I have overnight access rights as part of a new residential order, yet my requests for overnight access midweek during term time is in dispute. her best arguement is 'the kids are in a routine'.

Something I am trying to assertain is the phrase 'locked in bitterness' as I saw in this website http://www.lostraccolaw.com/Emotional-Stages-.html as a way to explain the other parties lack of reason.

I'm hoping it will be sorted in the 'issues resolution hearing' before it goes to 'final hearing', is your case ongoing? or has it reached the 'final hearing' stage?